Don't You Find the Church's Authority Oppressive?

October 28, 1981

"Went out with M.C. for dinner and a movie. During dinner, he asked me if I didn't find authority in the Church oppressive. I explained that the Church is Christ's Spouse and mine, His Mother and mine. Bishops are usually paternal and compassionate and reasonable. Explained that Jesuit (and ecclesial) obedience is, in fact, obedience to Jesus in His representatives. Human success or efficacy is not a reason or criterion for this obedience. Philippians 2 speaks eloquently of emptying/obedience/Cross and Resurrection and its meaning. There is also great security and joy in knowing one is doing God's will by following Church authority.

"M. was grateful and said, 'Well, if you look at it that way, it's not so bad. I've never heard that explanation.' After I got home, I prayed, 'Dear Lord, how many generous young men and women like him have not been taught basic truths of their Faith and Tradition? No wonder we have so few vocations, so many leaving the Church! We've deprived many of their right to hear the Truth. Your sheep and lambs have not been fed. That is why they're fainting by the wayside.'....Ours is the sad world of Ignatius points to in his Incarnation Meditation. And I am part of it, a sinner like the rest. I asked Christ again to come into it...

"Acts 8:20: 'May your silver be lost forever and you with it for thinking that money could buy what God has given for nothing!'
Greatly helped by this verse in prayer as I felt again the futility of any acts of intellect, will or imagination to prevent distractions in prayer. God told me, 'You don't have to do anything to receive this Gift of God, the Holy Spirit. In fact, it would be wrong, perhaps even sinful, to think you can do anything to merit or cause such a gift to be given (type of simony?)

"Rather, rejoice that you are helpless and that you need only receive, only accept it as fact that God now beholds you. You cannot keep your gaze on Him but His gaze on you is steady. Even now, He is about pouring His Spirit into you, whether or not you are aware.."