A Letter from Hospice

May 20, 2011
Wauwatosa, WI
USA

"Sometimes we are a disappointment to ourselves and others. Just let me reflect a bit on this emptiness I am feeling, that we all feel from time to time, and what might be done about it.

"Experience of prayer over the years has taught me to tolerate and even to value emptiness--that blank time when there are no thoughts or feelings or inspirations. St. John of the Cross has taught the world that God needs to empty us of ourselves in order to fill us with Himself. He weans us and dries us up so that we have no alternative but to wait for Him to come. Jesus told us that He was 'going to prepare a place for us' and 'I will come back again and take you to myself.' Still, we wait and wonder and often wander...

"When we look at Scripture, we see that almost all of Jesus' post-Resurrection appearances occurred at times when His followers were empty. For example, Mary Magdalene was distraught because the tomb was empty and she thought someone had come and stolen His body. Jesus speaks her name and she recognizes Him.
Another time, the disciples returning to Emmaus are disillusioned because Jesus whom they had thought was the Messiah ended up crucified. Unknown to them, Jesus draws near, gets them talking about their emptiness and then chides them for not understanding that the emptiness of the Cross was the necessary prelude to the fullness of the Resurrection. He enflames their hearts with a Scripture lesson and they recognize Him in the breaking of the bread.
Then we also read of the apostles hiding behind locked doors in the upper room for fear of arrest by the authorities. The Lord comes through the doors, shows them His wounds, eats with them and so overwhelms them with joy that they could hardly believe it because it seemed too good to be true.
Subsequently, Peter and some others, jittery with cabin fever in Jerusalem, decide to go up to Galilee and fish. But alas, after a whole night, they caught nothing---emptiness---until the morning when a stranger on the shore told them where to cast their nets for a bountiful catch. After Jesus cooked breakfast for them, he invited Peter, who was feeling guilty and afraid for having denied Him, to go for a walk and to be forgiven and sent again to care for others: 'Yes, Lord, you know I love you. Then feed my sheep.'

"Each of us has times of loss, failure, loneliness, emptiness and lack of spiritual feeling and desire. Just as I felt that I had 'nothing to say or give' to you when I started this letter. We must not panic or despair but wait with holy longing for Jesus; or we must just go about doing what we know is His will for us. He tells us, 'Do not let your hearts be troubled...in my Father's house there are many dwelling places. If there were not, would I have told you that I'm going to prepare a place for you?
And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will  come back again and take you to Myself, so that where I am you also may be.' (Jn 14:1-3).

"Jesus is always with us when it least seems that He is. He waits for our act of trust. And then He reveals Himself and fills our hearts with resurrection joy!"