I Will Not Wait for Purgatory

             August 25, 1979          Bahar, India

"Seek grace for the smallest things, and you will also find grace to accomplish, to believe in, and to hope for the greatest things. Attend to the smallest things, examine them, think about putting them into effect, and the Lord will grant you greater."          St. Peter Faber

"Let me comment on the theme of this afternoon. It would seem to be a great and quite selfless desire to want to serve Christ and proclaim His truth tirelessly while I have time in this world...It's obvious we must be purified in some way before we can see God and I desire to do that now and not wait for Purgatory for two reasons: I may not be saved if I dally for if I'm not gathering more and more with Him, I'm scattering. And the more and sooner I'm purified by total unreserved surrender, the more I'll be able to do for His Kingdom, the people I'm vowed to serve.

"Over and above all though, a new and beautiful sense has been captivating me; I want to be holy and purified and in love with Christ for His sake, because He wants it, because He wants me. I feel more emptied of self and concerns and anxieties about where I stand and how holy I am etc. Instead I'm aware of a growing simplification that settles my desire and aim and passion more on Him, the Holy Trinity, and less on myself. I want my response to take whatever form His will manifests but I dream of ministry like Paul's or Xavier's...

"This intense desire for holiness and mission and apostolic fruitfulness led me to begin reading, 'To The Other Towns', a book by Bangert about Peter Favre (Faber). He is so special to me because he feels like a kindred spirit....With Favre, I will 'seek the grace for the smallest things' and let God decide my future, which I again surrender to Him."