Rome, Italy
From a letter of spiritual direction:
"So you're wondering 'what to confess'...I know the problem. Sometimes our 'little sins' or faults seem inconsequential when compared to what others are doing. Since our standard of what is objectively right or wrong, serious or non-serious, is much affected by the scale of values we see around us, we don't find much objectively to accuse ourselves of.
"But, as Christians, our scale or criterion of good or righteous is always God's way of acting. Thus Jesus tells us to 'Be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect.' Or, to put it another way, we can say that Jesus himself is our criterion--His agape, his self-investing, his self-sacrificing love--as described by Paul in 1 Cor 13. For example, we can say, 'Jesus is kind, Jesus is patient, Jesus doesn't count up wrongs' etc. Some have suggested using that chapter in Corinthians as an examination of conscience. So you can substitute your name instead of 'Love' or 'Jesus' to get an idea of what needs confessing...
"Those particular failures to act like Jesus are like symptoms of a heart that still reserves some dominion to itself. That part of us that is still not child-like, still not a servant, still not a sister, mother or friend of others, especially those we dislike or who dislike us.
"In John's first epistle, he says that we are 'killers' if we do not love. That sounds dramatic until we realize that one either gives life or destroys it in each and every decision in relation to God, self and others. Only the enlightened heart can see this. The saints, as you know, were the most painfully and crushingly aware of their sins. It is true that what would be a massive failure for them would hardly register on our fault-scale, much less our sin-scale!
"For instance, I was reading St. Ignatius' Spiritual Diary a couple of days ago where he did penance for a week for too abruptly and irreverently leaving the Trinity in prayer to investigate the source of some bothersome noise in his house. He actually did penance and begged the Father to restore him to good graces...Now one can say that objectively what Ignatius did in irreverently dealing with God was wrong because no human being should be irreverent and insensitive to God, our Creator. But, on the subjective level, God wouldn't expect such perfection yet of a person who doesn't know him as well as Ignatius did.
"So, in answer to your question, look closely at Jesus as your yardstick of virtue and not this crazy culture...Ask the Holy Spirit incessantly to give you light to confess now what needs to be rectified in your life. Not simply because all we do will someday be exposed to the Light but because the grace of the sacrament of Confession helps us to stop sinning, as you know. Realize that, while objective good and evil do not change, our culpability does. Another example: I am much more culpable for telling a lie than one of my high school students because of all the graces I've been given etc.
I hope this helps and not just obfuscates the issue for you!"
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